Meat Chopper

Thursday, October 15, 2009

We have a butcher's at Chopper Read's new DVD doco Fatbelly and lend the big unit an ear.

You look comfortable with the knife in this photo, mate. When's the last time you had to use one on something other than a steak?
Years ago. Years and years ago. And that's a good thing.

What’s it like to get hit on the head with a claw hammer?
Well, it doesn’t feel very good. It's like a metallic bounce. Like, "BANG! Bang-owwwww." Like something out of a cartoon. "Boing-dowwww" – sort of like a big bang, then you feel the bounce of the hammer as it bounces off your head.

What's the worst pain you've had?
Well, getting me ears cut off wasn’t too good. That was pretty intense. That’s a strange sort of pain.

And the worst pain you’ve inflicted?
That’s hard to put my finger on. I’d have to go back and ask them. They might not want to share that with me. Now and again you come across people on the street that you’ve had big blues with. You just cross to the other side of the street and hope they haven’t seen you. Uncomfortable. You mention in Fatbelly that you did some Greco-Roman wrestling.
Yeah, many years ago, from when I was 15.

That’s a bit suss, isn’t it?
Greco-Roman wrestling? No. What’s suss about that?

Well, there’s a lot of cuddling men on the ground.
One of the toughest bouncers I ever met was a Greco-Roman wrestler. He represented Australia in the Munich Olympic Games. It’s a very formidable style of wrestling.

Did it come in handy later in life?
Bloody oath it did.

Fair enough then. We get heaps of photos sent in of random punters mugging with you.
You get a strange, random selection of people wanting to get their photo taken with you.

What about chicks?
Usually it’s the silicone-titted, big-boobed girls from Queensland bouncing up to you going, "Hello Mr Read!" You get half a dozen sheilas dancing around going, "Hello Mr Read — can we get our photo taken with you?" And you know it’s a gee-up.

Check out the full story in RALPH'S November edition