Ask 10 men what women want in boyfriends and husbands and you'll get 10 different answers. But there is one group of people who know exactly what women want, and that group is, um, women. So we asked them, with interesting and insightful results.
If you want to know what women really look for in the men who they share all or part of their lives with, here's the lowdown. And if you are convinced the answer really is "me, just me", you might be in for a surprise.
Looks
Yes, women really do go for looks, whatever you might have heard about the importance of a really great sense of humour. At the same time though, their attitude to looks is often a little more sophisticated than ours.
"With attraction, it can be a quirky thing that does it for me," says Fiona, 36. "I truly adore a geek." And she admits that a gesture or just something that makes her smile can create a "phwoar: factor, as much as traditional good looks.
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Filmmaker Vicki Psarias says that looks are important, but not enough on their own. "Yes, looks are important too, however much women may deny this," she says. "Essentially, though, it comes down to chemistry. You either click or you don't."
Manliness
It's fair to say that women on the whole appreciate some level of manliness, especially if that is represented by the ability to put up a shelf or unplug the sink.
Hazel Davis, 34, says men should stand up for themselves.
"For me, a man who thought, or said, women were 'goddesses' or in some way 'superior', who didn't argue his corner and who took bad behaviour lying down — that would be a deal-breaker," she says.
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"Though it goes without saying that I wouldn't be too keen on an aggressive idiot who argued all the time and thought I was inferior."
Aggressive behaviour and overt blokiness are also a no-no for Femke Colborne, 31. "In terms of behaviour, anything aggressive is a real turn-off, whether towards me or anyone else," she says.
"An ex-boyfriend hit a wall once after a petty argument and I remembered it for weeks, it really put me off him. Also, I can't stand macho men who are all 'laddish' and beer-swigging."
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Drunken boorishness was brought up more than once as a reason to dump or avoid. What these women want are men who know when enough is enough.
Patience
It's possible that women can be just a little bit irrational, hormonal even on occasion.
"It helps if men can understand that women's moods are often controlled by hormones and be patient if we are being a tiny bit irrational," Femke says. "We can't help it. We realise afterwards that we were acting like Godzilla on speed, but at the time seemed like the world is ending and nothing anyone can say will change it."
Patience is a virtue in other ways too. When children come on the scene, women want a patient, calm presence, so they might be looking for that in any potential long-term partner. "Calmness is important," Hazel says. "Hysterical, hyperactive men are very unattractive."
"A dream boyfriend is ideally someone who could become your husband and the father of your children." Vicki says.
A man who talks ... and listens
Femke says she couldn't be happy in a relationship with a man who didn't communicate well.
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Meanwhile, Fiona says she wants a man who takes an interest in her life, whether that means her career or her hobbies. He should be curious and ask questions. He should be supportive.
Vicki says a man who listens is a rare find.
"Traditionally, men want to offer solutions when sometimes women just want to talk or vent," she says.
Career-minded, not obsessed
"A man should have a good career, be ambitious, but it shouldn't be all-consuming," Rebecca Royle, 28 says.
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He should also appreciate the passion his partner might have for her work (and some of us do fall down on this).
"As a filmmaker I work long hours so I knew I'd need to find someone who understands my industry and the passion I have for my work," Vicki says.
Core values
"It's important to have lots in common from general tastes, humour and right down to core values," Rebecca says.
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Femke is more specific. "I have had boyfriends where I felt we were on a totally different wavelength and in the end it was a deal-breaker. It's important for me that someone shares my ideologies," she says. "For example, I could not go out with someone who voted for a different political party or was deeply religious, for example."
Romance, friendship, the works
Nearly every girl said that a partner should be a mate. So they want the romantic stuff and the deep stuff, but they also want loads of fun and an infectious sense of humour.
And of course, they want romance, understanding, talent, parenting ability and so on. The moon on a stick, in other words. But then they are talking about the qualities they require of a long-term partner, a potential father of their children, their 'Mr Right'.
Rebecca's dream boyfriend (and real fiancé) is a "giver and welcome receiver of warm love; shows respect and honesty; is able to talk and listen; is great with my friends and family, as well as his own; has found the happy medium of not being tight but not being reckless with money; and is someone that I fancy as well as adore on a friendship level."
Which might seem like asking a lot, but when you consider what's at stake, it's fair enough.
And as was mentioned more than once, when you boil it all down it comes to this. Women generally want a good guy, not a bad boy, despite what you might have heard. Being a good boyfriend or husband is pretty much the same as being a decent bloke — though a ripped body would be a bonus.
Hugh Wilson and Saxon Cheng
Your say: What are some other things women want in a man?
